Wow. is this guy the biggest pussy or what?

Testing Testing...

Let's see if this is going to work... just spent a lazy Friday afternoon at work re-splitting my blogging personality again. This will hopefully help me avoid posting things I do not want my mother to read on my "professional appearance blog" again. Here goes...

Random fact of the day: did you know that Marilyn Monroe's character in "The Seven Year Itch" didn't have a name and was only known as "The Girl". That's what I know at this hour. Which would be 8 am on Wednesday at the studio. I have to say that I am totally digging the workload... for now. I mean even getting a 8pm script email wasn't too hellish. Feeling a bit dodgy this morning, hopefully it is NOT the dodgyness that Debbie keeps describing that her kids have. And apparantly Bob Vila, is now without an "Old House" after being cancelled after 28 years on the air. I mean granted I probably never watched a full episode, but it's one of those programs that was nice to know that it was always there, even if you never watched it. I mean, someday I would like to have a "this old house" and now there is no reference to go to in order to fix my future faulty wiring and chipping lead paint and squeaky floor boards. Hrmph.

Meanwhile... next door...
Propped up on the DGA plush purple love seat trying not to barf. Fuuuuuuuuuuuck I am a little sick of this getting sick at the beginning of every new show I start now. It's totally uncalled for. Unacceptable. Totally counter-believing and achieving. Hard to believe I've been here for four hours, and for almost 2 of them I've been sacked out here. A nap would be devine, but I'm not holding out too much hope for it. The couch is short, I can get about 32% of my body to be horizontal on it, and there's too much distraction like the fact that I'm kinda supposed to be sitting on stage doing my job right now. Can't even get Adam to get me a damn cup of tea. And crafty lady is trying to sell me that Spearmint and Peppermint are the same thing. Okay Faux Hippie Dippy lit candles in a backstage room probably not the greatest idea. And suck up, you work on the show. Everyone else has to listen to the contestants and shitty warm up guy, you should have to too. Okay hopefully that's all the bitterness out of my system!

Happy Tuesday! Actually got off my butt cheeks this am and rode my bike into work again. Quite impressive. I could really get behind this getting out of work at 5:00pm thing. I was home at like 5:30 yesterday and it was like I had a whole extra day to do my 'thang'. I was able to tackle pretty much everything I wanted to do (with the exception of working on projects and actually writing, but hey beggers can't be choosers.) AND, the guy called. Still no plan for getting together, but I think it might actually happen. He seems really nice and the fact that he keeps calling I think could be construed as a good sign. I have to get myself sending out more emails though, trying to not put all my eggs in one basket. And even though he seems sweet and interesting, who's to say that he is the proverbial 'one'. I mean he didn't come up in my searches, I plucked him off a 'your matches' email. I should at least see who else is out there. I mean I do have to meet my quota on this damn thing. And if it all goes to hell, I don't want to be right back where I started in January. Ugh... I scored myself a big ole piece of free chocolate cake from Jerry's today after they screwed up Debbie's lunch order... (talk about believing and achieving, I stood there and thought multiple times, I should really check this order to make sure it's right... I got a bad feeling it's not ... and voila, wrong.) and now I weigh like 300 lbs. The cake was really just on par, nothing spectacular, but the slice they cut me was approximately the size of my first car. I managed not to eat a great deal of it (a success, especially for me) but now I have stabbing side cramps regardless. Maybe I shouldn't have ignored the idea of stocking up on the PB on my Ralph's run today. If it's not better by Magnolia on the drive home, we'll be making another Ralph's stop. Oy. Of course Deb relaying how her children are barfing at school wasn't doing anyone any good. Damn if the flu reaches this production, I think we're all screwed (made doubly likely with both Debbie AND Kieran around acting as Patient Zero and Zero2.) I'm trying to remain calm and not fall victim to the 'mass hysteria' syndrom...

monday monday, redux

So I am truly trying to be a better person today. Believe and achieving and all that bird poop. I don't think I could go on much longer with my oh-too-sassy attitude. Of course I probably won't be abandoning my "I can't believe this show" attitude, but we've all got to start somewhere. So today, I will be pleasant, accomodating, and helpful today. I will agree to tasks with a smile and try NOT to be a raving bitch when asked to do something.

That said, it's a beautiful crystal clear day and I wish I were anywhere but here at work, but Hi-Ho-Hi-Ho, and all that good stuff. Email from the guy last night, asking about getting together soon. I hope it works out. I finally watched 'Stranger Than Fiction' the other night per his recommendation (seems to be his favorite movie of late, his whole profile is based around it) and I can't decide if I would have truly loved the part where Will Ferrell brings Ana Pasqual the 'flours' if it not been for him liking the movie so much. I mean I thought it was kinda adorable, and Will Ferrell totally pulled off the moment, but would I have hated it if I were in an evil bitchy love totally sucks mood? (In difference to the "world sucks and I hate people" mood that I have been in for weeks now) I'm trying to be objective about the whole thing, especially because I have always said I would try not to fall victim to the 'cute boy syndrome' (liking something merely because you want someone to like you or liking something just by association) I mean is it really twee if I make him sugar cookies and bring them with me when I meet him? Is that too much? Or is it just right? Fuck, I wish I had some idea how to do this.

Sunday Sunday Sunday

Argh, shockingly, it is another sunday and I am at work. Well, if you call this work. Little to nothing is going on for me today but I am still overly aggravated by everyone here. Fucking hell. Why is everything pissing me off so easily? I can't handle the stupidity the people looking over my shoulder, the frustration. I have no sympathy and no patience. Sigh. I mean I should be more accomodating, since I have very little to do. But alas, no. It is all just so damn bothersome. Emailed match boy, haven't heard from him in a week, since his trip to Vegas, but it was okay... didn't feel too stressed out about the fact that he went missing. And that's a good sign. Just hoping that he writes back again and hasn't forgotten me. I really want to give this thing a shot, if there is a thing at all to start with. I really do. I mean it this time. I'm not going to be freaked out and I will call him back or answer the phone when he calls. I mean it. For reals. Great, crap chinese food for lunch today. Fantastic. This is a banner production indeed. I need to get out of here. Maybe a short walk will get me moving. Okay that helped. Slightly. I need to just take it easy. think about how I am going to react before I do it. I am becoming a raging bitch and I'm pretty sure no one wants to be around me. Hell, I don't even want to be around me much anymore. Focus. The power of focus. Time to get back that feeling of being in charge of my own destiny again. Need to work on getting myself up and moving, especially when I am self-loathing as I have been so much recently. Breathe. Relax. And focus on the positive. He will call again! :)

Okay it's time to start morning pages again. A week off is more than enough time to get my bearings here on the new show. Fortunately it looks like this one will be a lot less intensive than usual. FINALLY. It will be very refreshing to come in and do work at a leisurely pace. Eat lunch. Get up and walk around during the day and not feel like I'm 6 hours behind at every tick of the clock. Plus the nice commute is also very appealing. I'm going to try and be good tomorrow and ride my bike in since it is Earth Day and I've been being about as bad as I can allow myself to be in terms of what it is I do. I totally blew off Climate Control Day or whatever it was called last week. I had such grand ideas of standing on an overpass with a big banner that said "Stop Global Warming Dickwads!" or maybe something slightly less bitchy. Maybe an "Earth Day Every Day" would have been slightly more appropriate. Damn I've got to get some motivation back soon for sure. I can't completely blame it on Aunt Pam's visit, because I've been a lazy shit for several months anyway. Why can't I just freaking DO IT? What am I so afraid of? And man am I ever fucking cranky this week. Everything is aggravating. Every little thing sets me off. I'm fat, tired and weak. When I do have time to do things I'm just too bored to even try. Hrrmph. I had so much momentum there for a bit but now it seems I'm back on the sludge train. Still want to get something started with that guy but it seems like now, there's been a slow down. Sigh. What can I do to get back on track? Maybe cutting out the diet coke again might be a start. Damn, 51º in mid april!!