And we've looped around to monday again...

Ah yes, week 2 of unemployment... which isn't really a full week since I start over at the American Talent Factory on Thursday. Don't get me wrong, a paycheck will be swell, especially if I'm going to save up my pennies to take a couple weeks off in September. Weddings and such. Apparantly September is the new April which was the new June. For weddings that is. The sun has finally returned to visibility in the sky... thank heavens. I was developing a serious case of SAD there for a bit. Hopefully with a little dose of Vitamin D, I'll be able to get out of this potential funk I've got brewing here. Blah. Must work up the confidence to give this guy a call. I mean a week ago I was sad and depressed that he hadn't written me back but since then he's written back regularly and I only seem to like him more. Now he's put the ball in my court, and I have his phone number with a 'please call me' hanging over my head. I want to call, and I can't figure out why I'm so goddamn chicken about it. This happened all the other times (read:3 maybe? or is it only 2?) I was granted phone numbers from boys online. Lots of self-loathing going on here today. I can't figure out why I'm so afraid to do this. I mean I would truly rather get it over with and move on if in fact it won't work out, and if it were to work out, who wouldn't want to start the best part of their life as soon as possible? So what is holding me back? Why is there such fear of just calling? I've always hated talking on the phone and still to this day can't understand why I was able to spend so much time talking to JCP (hours and hours a night. sometimes til 3 or 4 in the morning. Why?!) There's such strategy that I'm trying to figure out here, when's the best time to call? When's too early, when's too late? And should I email before I call? And what the hell is wrong with me?! Sigh.